Friday, January 27, 2006
The Top 6 of Jan 2006
In no particular order...

1. Opening 2006 with a youth group-esque pouring out all of my hopes, fears, and dreams with close friends
(could we call it a candle-light devotional?)
2. Watching Vince Young score a winning touchdown, driving downtown with my horns out the window the whole way, giving
more high-fives in one night than ever before.
3. Coming back to Mexico
4. Choosing to leave Mexico a week after I came back
5. Reading the first three book of "Chronicles of Narnia": The Magician's Nephew, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, and The
Horse and His Boy (those aren't the order in which they were written, but it is the order in which C.S. wanted them to be read)
6. Knowing and feeling the support and peace from friends and family (thanks), but mostly from knowing the grace of God

Wednesday, January 18, 2006
You know that feeling when you break up with someone you really haven't liked in awhile...
In short, freedom. Well, I'm experiencing that today as I hand my letter of resignation to the appropriate people. Yes, it's true. I'm coming home. The best part is that I'm not angry or an emotional wreck. I feel good about a decision that's been a long time coming. I'm ready to be in a place that is positive and supportive. I'm ready to have new opportunities. I'm ready to live with Toni and Greg.
I would walk to school hoping it would be burned to the ground (seriously). And then I realized maybe the fact that I want it to be burned down is proof enough.
Is it easy to leave my students or the friends I've made? No. I love them all deeply. But it's time to go. And the timing is right.

Monday, January 16, 2006
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Today was an o.k. day. The sun is shining and I can see the pico from the balcony at school. I've developed a new theory that if I can see the pico, it will be a good day. So far, I think it's 100% accurate. My students are fine, I've resolved to have zero expectations for the school, which has made me happier. But still expect myself to be the best teacher ever, which isn't happening, and really can't happen until I have much more experience.
I feel like I don't belong here and often pray for a way out. But in the meantime, I'm loving my kids and loving the sun. I'm hoping that this mostly beautiful Mexican weather will allow me to bypass the end-of-winter depression that often occurs. And I think it's working out for me. Yesterday, we took a drive in the mountains while the sun was setting. The mountains were completely green and beautiful despite the season. It looked like something out of a water-color painting. That was a good memory.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Low-Key in '03
I feel like this quote alludes to my goals of this year perfectly, forgetting the '03 of course and replacing that with an '06. In my former pride I cried, "Everyone stop living mundane lives and grasp the adventure and opportunities that lie waiting for you!" I sneered upon those who took the "normal" route as I enthusiastically boarded the plane in Houston.
I suppose there is much to value in experiencing life in various ways, seeing the world outside the US and reminding ourselves that this life is not simply about ourselves, but about being actively involved in risk. Yet still there is much value in remaining in contact with the weekly lives of those we love. There's something to be said about consistently and continuing to build relationships with those you know. Mainly because there is strength in support. The best of yourself can be found by growing around those who are willing to both believe in you and allow you to change. I think that like all things there requires a balance between challenge and support.
I hope I always live my life waiting for challenges and being willing to take them. But I also hope I live my life humbly appreciating and building the rare relationships that surround me. "Many are the plans of a man's heart; But it's the Lord's will that prevails."
Sometimes we're not ready for the challenges we think we're ready to take (and by "we" I actually mean me). Besides, if we were all nomadic, there really wouldn't be cultures to appreciate.